At the recent UpliftHER event, I had the pleasure of facilitating a couple of breakout groups around the topic of learning from others. When Amy Mercer suggested writing a blog I was in! I love the chance to write and am perhaps an anomaly who misses the days of essay writing (some of my best were written with a glass of vodka red bull alongside the energy and aura of the 9 women I shared our student house with!).
That said, when it came to it, I realised that I couldn’t recall details of what had been discussed! A creeping feeling of panic, followed by shame washed over me; Had I not been listening? Did I do the wrong thing? Did I let those with a blue dot on their lanyards down? And (albeit fleetingly), will Amy suggest I step down as an UpliftHER ambassador?!?!
Why couldn’t I recall the details? Was it the time elapsed since the event? The millions of other things we’re all simultaneously juggling? Brain fog that seems more regular as our friend perimenopause knocks at the door? Whatever the reason, I sat staring at the blinking cursor for some time trying desperately to rack my brain, considering whether I could contact each of the women separately to ask them to put their thoughts in an email….. then I stopped. I realised that not being able to remember the details wasn’t a bad thing, it was illustrative of the real beauty these collective women created - a deep presence & a truly supportive environment in which nothing outside our circle mattered for those few minutes. That, is priceless.
One woman was learning that trying to move industries when job seeking was still an alien concept to less progressive employers, another trying ‘reverse Lent’ (doing something new vs. giving something up) & picking up her book vs her phone each morning; in our second group a mix of those navigating the pitfalls of early career years balanced with those sharing rich experiences from careers spanning decades and reflecting on the evolving landscape of ‘women in work’ during that time. As you’d expect, some of these were positive, some less so, though each experience a privilege to be given a ‘window’ into this, enabling us to collectively learn from our individual experiences.
Did we talk specific book and podcast recommendations? Yes. Can I recall them? No. Do I feel as though I therefore didn’t ‘hit the brief’ for the breakouts? (After telling Gertrude to pipe-down*) No. These groups of women epitomised the very idea of ‘learning through others’ - an attentive, encouraging, curious, safe and warm space was implicitly created and I feel honoured to have been a part of this.
Group photo at UpliftHER Event (I'm fourth from the left in the green dress)
Whilst we all know the power of learning from others; carving out deliberate time to do this was a real gift and a reminder to do this more. I invite you to take a look around where you’re at now and the women (and allies) that surround you. I’ll guess there are many; now ask yourself what new knowledge, thinking or opportunities might open up if you committed to being more intentional with this powerful (and I’d assume willing) network? I’ll bet that the results will be sometimes surprising, sometimes difficult to hear though always enriching.
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